stress, excitement, heartbreak rolled into one..

I've started going to school this week and it was one hell of a week for me. Just like the title of this blog post, I have been stressed, excited and heartbroken in just one week, or shall i say 3 days.( I just started going to school last Wednesday. I was really excited on going back to school, not because I am going to see my friends and crush(?!?!) but I was really excited on having to attend my major subjects. But what the heck, these subjects made my head go dry for a minute. I mean, i could get Epistaxis for the lectures and terms I needed to understand. But they are also challenging and exciting, and my professors are so fun.

Enough of the stress and excitement I felt during my first 3 days of school. I wanted to share what really made this week hell for me. I've already shared to you that I had this classmate which I really like but he likes my friend instead, right? I have 4 classes in which I share with them. I don't want them to think that I don't like to be with them so I am still the same as before. I pretend that I don't feel something and I don't know that they are together. But do know the feeling when you see them snuggling, smiling at each other, chatting sweetly and you are there at their back watching?! That feels like hell right?! I don't want them to think that I am bitter or something so I pretend that I see nothing. But I can't stop myself for feeling hatred so sometimes I don't talk to him. I just smile here and there but I don't really talked to him directly until this morning. I talk to him, yes, but it's because we are classmates but I don't talk to him like I do before. Oh, well..I just can't help it so I am writing to you all the things I wanted to say. I can't share this to my friends in school for their tongues might slip. Maybe in time I will get to accept things and be the ways I was before with him.