events

Many things happened for the past three months that I haven't been writing on my blog. I gained experience, I lost someone important, I learned, I taught, I lead, I followed.

February 2010
> busy days in school doing production stuffs as a Mass Communication student. I experienced how difficult it is to be in the entertainment world. It is not easy to be a part of the "Behind the Camera" staff of live shows or even the taped ones. Pressure and misunderstandings with your coworkers will always be there but then, seeing the result of all the hardships that all of the people involved in the show aired, it is more than overwhelming. To my "Friendship" team...you were my best group this entire semester. Thank you.

March 2010
>March 22, 2010-Athena Film Awards night.
I didn't expect to bag awards in all the categories. I hoped but did not expect. But I was very Happy that Jun, Mhayzel, Roan, Aram and Mervin all received the awards they deserved. Congratulations guys.

Jun-SF breakthrough actor
Mhayzel-MV best interpreter
Roan- Best Corporate AVP
Aram-Best Newsletter
Mervin-Best Music Video 1st Runner-up

April 2010
>April 08, 2010
I lost a part of my world. It was Thursday morning at around 7:30 that my father passed away with a smile on his lips. I know he was happy when he left us and I know that he is now with the Father who promised eternal life in heaven. "Papa, I know I haven't been the best daughter to you especially during the times you were in pain. You are out of pain now Papa, you are as good looking as when you were young the last time I saw you lying there as if you were only sleeping. I know I haven't told you that I love you so much. I know its too late to say this but I will still say it. I love you Papa and I miss you so much. I'll do my best to achieve what I promised you. Be happy. =) "


Life is full of happy, sad, and unexpected events that all of us don't have any clue that these things will happen to us. So live life to the fullest and say your I love you's to your moms, dads, brothers, sisters, friends and enemies before its too late.

crap! crap! crap! and more crap!

Why do I waste so much of my time thinking and being sad about someone that I would not even know if he thinks of me too? I just can't seem to understand how he would be so happy while I am in a state of depression since the start of the semester. Damn HIM for making me feel this way, and damn HER for getting in the way! I wish they were like bubbles that once I popped them they would never come back. I wish they were just mere HALLUCINATIONS that I get every time I day dream. Can the past be brought back to the present? Or can I foresee the future if they are still part of it? So many questions that needs answers. Life is just full of CRAP!

aywan..

meron naman sigurong mga times sa buhay ng tao na minsan hindi mo maintindihan yung sarili mo mismo. may times na iniisip mo eto na pero hindi pa pala. tulad ngayon, hindi ko maintindihan yung sarili ko.

hindi ko masabi sa ngayon kung totoo bang naramdaman ko nang magmahal. sabi nga ni maam o, "love is a choice, not a feeling." I do agree sa sinabi niya. choice naman natin tlaga kung sino yung mamahalin natin tsaka kung tatanggapin natin yung taong gusto nating mahalin. aaminin ko may mahal akong tao..sabihin na nating hindi kumpleto araw ko nang wala siya. madalas hinahanap hanap ko talaga siya. pero hindi ko magawang ipakita sa kanya ng buo ung nararamdaman ko. y?..aukong masira yung pagkakaibigan namin. may tendency kasi siyang hindi mamansin kung malalman niyang may gusto ka sa kanya.I grew to love everything about him. dati gusto ko lang siya kasi ang linis niya tignan, gwapo, maputi, singkit, mabango..yung ideal man mo. pero as time passes na palagi kaming magksama, I learn so much about him. minsan yung mga kapangitan about him I fully welcome. Yung parang wala na akong pakialam na may ganun siyang ugali. basta masaya ako pagkasama ko siya ok na ako. I now know na matalino siya, though tamad. We can discuss anything under the sun kahit minsan may awkwardness samin. siguro yung mga flaws niya na unti unting lumalabas as we get to be closer just makes me like him more. Hindi kasi siya yung type na magpapanggap para lang magpaimpress. aun..

ang nagpapagulo sa isip ko ngayon is, bakit meron akong nararamdaman sa isa ko pang kaibigan?..diba kung may mahal ka na dapat siya na lang wala ng iba?..hinahanap hanap ko din siya..he is the exact opposite nung una kong dinescribe. athletic kasi siya na minsan natutuwa na lang ako na mlamig namn pero siya pinagppwisan. I like him in a way na napipicture ko kaming dalawa together. yung sa una kasi hindi ko mapicture eh..at kung ako ttanungin, auko ipicture out.

haii..I don't know what to do..bahala na siguro si batman sa mga mangyayari..

bleeding love..

Sobra ba kung magwiwish tayo na mapasaatin yung mga bagay na gusto natin? Matatawag na ba tayong sakim kung sakaling hindi natin magawang isakripisyo yung mga bagay na mahalaga at pinakaiingatan natin?

Maraming beses na akong lihim na nagmahal sa isang kaibigan na alam kong ni sa hinagap ay imposibleng magbalik ng pagtingin sa akin. Pero mali ba ang umasa? Mali bang isipin na kahit kaunti ay may pag-asang mahalin din niya ako?

Ang hirap pala ng magmahal na hindi mo magawang ipagsigawan sa mundo yung nararamdaman mo. Sa tatlong beses na sinubukan kong magmahal, sakit lang ang idinulot sa akin. Una, sa isang lalaking ni sulyap ay hindi magawa. Isnabero at walang maipakita sa akin kundi isang tipid na ngiting hindi naman umabot sa mata. Pangalawa ay isang malapit na kaibigan. Matanda siya sa akin ng apat na taon. Naging mahaba ang pagkakataong magkasama kaming nagtatawanan at nagkakasiyahan kung kaya't nahulog ang aking loob sa kanya. Ngunit matalik na kaibigan ko ang mahal niya. Nagawa kong sabihin sa kanya..Buti na lang at nagawa ko, kundi anggang ngayon puno pa rin ng hinanakit ang aking puso. At ang huli, ay nitong taon lamang. Isang kamag-aral na akala ko ay kaya akong mahalin. Isnabero din siya tulad nung una ngunit hindi niya iyon nagawang iparamdam sa akin. Mabait siya sa akin, maunawain at maalalahanin. Ngunit nagyon ko lang nalaman na kaibigan ko din ang gusto niya..Haaaayyy..buhay nga naman.

Tanggap ko na sa tatlong lalaking dumaan sa buhay ko, wala sa kanila ang itinadhana ng Diyos para sa akin. Ngunit hindi parin sa akin maialis ang malungkot. Umasa ako at nasaktan. Siguro naman may lalaking talagang nakalaan para sa akin..Sana malampasan ko itong panibagong sakit ng puso ko ngayon..