sa isang iglap..

SECONDS-literal na anjan lang siya kanina, sa biglang paglingon mo wala na siya.


saglit, nagtataka ako, bakit sa tuwing magpopost ako ng blog hindi ko malaman kung tagalog gagamitin ko o English..hehehehe..I told myself I would want my blog to be consisitent even with the language I am using..Pero ang hirap pala, may mga words kasi na pagtagalog gagamitan mo magiging super malalim na iisipin ng mga makakabasa eh panahon pa ni Melchora Aquino pinost yung blog. As if there are bloggers as of that time or shall I say era. Enough, let me start with what I really wanted to say.

time they say is gold. but for me, it's unpredictable. minsan ang hirap intindihin ng oras..(para namang tao yun) siguro naiintindihan niyo naman ako kung ano yung sinasabi ko noh..kahit anong gawin mo kasi yung mga gusto mong balikan sa nakaraan hindi mo na mabalikan. Tapos paggusto mo yung nangyayari sau sa present biglang sa isang iglap maglalaho na lang bigla. You can't stop the hands of time just to stay on the things you are happy with. Ang masaklap pa nito kung ngayon napakasaya mo dahil kasama mo siya, mamaya o di kaya bukas, isang dam na ng luha ang naipon mo dahil sa sakit at pait na idinulot niya sau. bakit ba napakabilis umusad ng oras? Why do time have to change all the happiness you are feeling to sadness that makes you awful. Sadness that makes you want to turn your back on life.

happy day 062509

I just got 15 minutes to post this blog coz I promised that I won't touch the computer today. But I can't help it. I really want to share my day to you today..I won't give vocab words today though..

We have school today after a three day suspension because of that damn virus. I got the chance to see him today and I'm happy. You know ____ right?!..yep he's the one. Our closeness as friends is back. I don't know what happened but today was just like before. We are happy talking to each other and we are just like before. I was so glad. I really hate those times when we seldom talk because of his other girl friend. Hahahahaha...yep, I was jealous if you could consider it that. It's not that I liked that he is not talking to ____ but if that's the only way we could be like before then so be it. I've missed talking to him like that, and we just talked about many random things. As we were talking, ____ was just beside us and he didn't give her even a glance. Oh, I was so happy. I know I am being selfish, but if you are in my place, you would act the same as I am acting..

ok, that's all.. I just hope no one I know would read this blog post..

ciao!

rejections, expectations at kung anu-ano pang 'tions' jan

REJECTION - the most painful thing you can do to somebody.
EXPECTATION - the most painful thing you can do to yourself.

First, I want to thank my two followers, Ibanez and Rose for all the comments they leave here in my blog posts..I really appreciate the thoughts you give bout my posts..hope you keep on reading them as I always anticipate your's.

Second, I want to start posting blogs with vocabulary words wherein I give my own meanings..see above..I would explain them later on..

Lastly, I really love posting blogs here..I can post whatever I want and no one would judge me through them.



The two words I posted above are words that go together. There will be no pain of rejection if nobody expects..I think that no body in this world that does not expect. Everyone of us expects, whether they are small or big things, we still expect. But nonetheless, we still get hurt if these expectations were not met, we do feel rejected.

When we apply it in the course of our lives, when we expect things to happen big time, we get hurt when we are rejected big time. So as for me I would not expect for anything too much. I have done so many mistakes in my life and got rejected twice many. I don't want to feel the pain that I have felt before. I've been hurt because I've expected too much. Now I've learned my lesson. I can't stop myself to expect but I would not expect too much so I won't be hurt to much once I got rejected.

stressed and depressed

ako na yata ang may pinakamadaming consumption ng oxygen at production ng carbon dioxide sa Pilipinas sa araw na ito dahil sa madalas kong paghinga ng malalim. sabi nila, masama daw yung humihinga ng malalim, malas daw. eh kaso hindi ako makahinga ng maayos ngayong araw na ito. ewan ko ba, parang ang bigat ng feeling ko this day.

actually, alam ko naman yung dahilan ng pagiging depressed ko. at actually ulit, dapat nga masaya ako eh..pero hindi ko alam kung bakit I am affected sa nangyayari sa kanilang dalawa. I mean, I know they are not in good terms as of the moment and I should be celebrating, but I also feel the akwardness and confusion lurking in our atmosphere everytime we are together. I was hoping that when these kind of situation happen, I could actually go back to what was before. Yung, dating kami. Yung kami pa lang, wala pa siya. Yung bang ako pa lang yung 'kilala' niya. Pero hindi. OO nga at bumalik na yung dating _____ na kinakausap ako, umuupo sa tabi ko, naglalakad kasabay ko pero parang ibang ____ yung nakikita ko ngayon. Ewan..nahihirapan na akong intindihin kung sino siya ngayon, kumpara sa dati na I understand him fully. Tama nga siguro si ate fe na ako yung talagang masasabing nakakakilala sa kanya, pero ngayon, hindi na.

stress, excitement, heartbreak rolled into one..

I've started going to school this week and it was one hell of a week for me. Just like the title of this blog post, I have been stressed, excited and heartbroken in just one week, or shall i say 3 days.( I just started going to school last Wednesday. I was really excited on going back to school, not because I am going to see my friends and crush(?!?!) but I was really excited on having to attend my major subjects. But what the heck, these subjects made my head go dry for a minute. I mean, i could get Epistaxis for the lectures and terms I needed to understand. But they are also challenging and exciting, and my professors are so fun.

Enough of the stress and excitement I felt during my first 3 days of school. I wanted to share what really made this week hell for me. I've already shared to you that I had this classmate which I really like but he likes my friend instead, right? I have 4 classes in which I share with them. I don't want them to think that I don't like to be with them so I am still the same as before. I pretend that I don't feel something and I don't know that they are together. But do know the feeling when you see them snuggling, smiling at each other, chatting sweetly and you are there at their back watching?! That feels like hell right?! I don't want them to think that I am bitter or something so I pretend that I see nothing. But I can't stop myself for feeling hatred so sometimes I don't talk to him. I just smile here and there but I don't really talked to him directly until this morning. I talk to him, yes, but it's because we are classmates but I don't talk to him like I do before. Oh, well..I just can't help it so I am writing to you all the things I wanted to say. I can't share this to my friends in school for their tongues might slip. Maybe in time I will get to accept things and be the ways I was before with him.

Galera Trip..

oh wow, I just got home from our weekend in Galera..We spent the Independence day there till Monday morning. We really had a nice time but sad to say that both of our parents weren't able to come along. It's fun spending the day together with your family in a place like Puerto Galera. It isn't so far from Manila yet still you wouldn't think you're still in the radius of the national capital region. It's my second time going to the place but this was the first time I really enjoyed going there. Here are some pictures from our trip...






me and my family by the shore of white beach...



after our snorkeling adventure..

We rode the banana boat but we weren't able to take pictures because of the super big waves..but that was so much fun..at first I was so nervous but once you get to experience it, you would want to try it again..hehehehe

I'm so happy to have experienced this kind of vacation even though it's just two days away from going back to school. hay, I really don't wanna go back because I'm so negra pa..hahahaha..I hope I could still ave at least two weeks so that my skin would lighten a little..oh well.. it's ok..I really had a great time there..Hope to be back there really soon..

06-10-09

isang napakahabang araw ang nagdaan sa akin, dated june 06, 2009. well galing kami sa skul at magpapainclude sana sa isang major subject namin. sa kasawiang palad, sarado na lahat ng section ng subject na ito. nasira talaga ang araw ko. gusto ko na talagnag umuwi nung nalaman kong sarado na lahat. pero sabi nila ate fe bakit hindi nalang kami magadvance ng subject, next sem nalang namin kunin un. aun pumayag nalang ako. wala naman na akong magagawa eh. aun nagpainclude na lang kami sa general ethics. aun may nahanap naman kaming sakto sa oras na hinahanap namin. Thank God! after nun ayaw pang magsiuwi nila ate fe at dhei. akko din naman ayaw ko pang umuwi kaya aun pumunta muna kaming sm manila para kumain at mag window shopping. Pagtapos kumain, pumunta kami sa mga cinemas, meron kasing offer dun na 15 pesos lang makakapanuod ka ng sine, luma nga lang ung mapapanuod mo..aun, tinignan namin kung ano yung palabas..ang basa ko dun sa poster "witch craft" tanong ng tanong si dhei kung nasan yung sinasabi ko, kung maganda daw ba yun..iisang poster lang naman yunf tinitignan namin. tinuro ko yung poster na nakita ko sabi ko "ayun oh!~" sabay pa silang tumawa..sabi ni dhei sa akin.."tange, 'ink heart' yan hindi 'witch craft'." ang labo na talaga nung mata ko..ink heart naging witch craft..

nung hindi namin nagustuhan yung palabas, nagyaya ng umuwi si dhei. pupuntahan kasi niya yung jowa niyang menor de edad. hahahaha..sabi ni ate fe inom nalang daw kami sa bahay nila ace (jowang menor de edad) ayaw pa talagang umuwi ni baklang fe. aun napahinuhod na akong sumama..masaya naman. kung ano anong kalokohan pa yung mga pinagagagawa namin dun. uminom, kumanta, sumayaw at pinagmukhang tanga namin yung mga sarili namin..hahahaha..nakdalawang shot din ako ah..at yung hiningi kong iced tea kay ate fe nilagyan pa nila ng isang shot. nahilo din ako ah..hindi naman kasi talaga ako nainom..

masaya talaga kanina, pero auko ng umulit..para akong nilalagnat..hahahaha.drinking will never be one of my favorite things to do..hehehehehe

bleeding love..

Sobra ba kung magwiwish tayo na mapasaatin yung mga bagay na gusto natin? Matatawag na ba tayong sakim kung sakaling hindi natin magawang isakripisyo yung mga bagay na mahalaga at pinakaiingatan natin?

Maraming beses na akong lihim na nagmahal sa isang kaibigan na alam kong ni sa hinagap ay imposibleng magbalik ng pagtingin sa akin. Pero mali ba ang umasa? Mali bang isipin na kahit kaunti ay may pag-asang mahalin din niya ako?

Ang hirap pala ng magmahal na hindi mo magawang ipagsigawan sa mundo yung nararamdaman mo. Sa tatlong beses na sinubukan kong magmahal, sakit lang ang idinulot sa akin. Una, sa isang lalaking ni sulyap ay hindi magawa. Isnabero at walang maipakita sa akin kundi isang tipid na ngiting hindi naman umabot sa mata. Pangalawa ay isang malapit na kaibigan. Matanda siya sa akin ng apat na taon. Naging mahaba ang pagkakataong magkasama kaming nagtatawanan at nagkakasiyahan kung kaya't nahulog ang aking loob sa kanya. Ngunit matalik na kaibigan ko ang mahal niya. Nagawa kong sabihin sa kanya..Buti na lang at nagawa ko, kundi anggang ngayon puno pa rin ng hinanakit ang aking puso. At ang huli, ay nitong taon lamang. Isang kamag-aral na akala ko ay kaya akong mahalin. Isnabero din siya tulad nung una ngunit hindi niya iyon nagawang iparamdam sa akin. Mabait siya sa akin, maunawain at maalalahanin. Ngunit nagyon ko lang nalaman na kaibigan ko din ang gusto niya..Haaaayyy..buhay nga naman.

Tanggap ko na sa tatlong lalaking dumaan sa buhay ko, wala sa kanila ang itinadhana ng Diyos para sa akin. Ngunit hindi parin sa akin maialis ang malungkot. Umasa ako at nasaktan. Siguro naman may lalaking talagang nakalaan para sa akin..Sana malampasan ko itong panibagong sakit ng puso ko ngayon..

nakakatuwa..

1st time kong magbrowse ng mga blogs kani-kanina lang..and I found some interesting blogs dito sa blogspot. Actually I found two blogs. Bothe of them are from Makati science Highschool..(matatalino,science highschool e) Gusto kong ishare sa inyo ang mga blogs nila and want you to read how it feels to be a Highschool student again. HAahaha..infairness kahit putol ung blog post ni 'Rose' kinilig ako a..Hindi ko naexperience yung ganun nung Hayskul ako. Skul Bahay lang ako nun eh. walang inatupag kundi ang magaral at maglaro ng volleyball. Sana naging tulad nila ako nun. Naging exciting din sana ang Highschool life ko..hahahaha..sana di magalit ung may-ari ng blog kasi pinagbababasa ko ung blogs niya..hahahahaha..peace kay Rose at s isa pang tiga MakSci..hehehehe

Ciao!

just this once..

how could i expect what is not to be expected? why would something I want not given to me? could you just grant my wish just this once so that this time I would be happy..

expectations just really make you devastated once they were not met. I could attest to that. I have been one of those who expects for something to happen but in reality impossible to take place. Who knew that when these times came to my life when I felt that nothing in this world could get right for me that I suppress all the pain and suffering that seems to penetrate the smallest of my veins and the largest of all my being? Maybe God knew. Maybe He just lets me endure all the pain I have to feel in this lifetime so that when I live again in His kingdom, I wouldn't feel even the slightest pain I felt here. Sure I look forward to what had been promised. But I surely want to feel loved, feel happy and contented in this I world I live in. Just for now.

UST vs SSC-R

Give me a second to catch my breath..whew! That was one hell of a game from the 2 of the best volleyball teams here in the country, University of Santo Tomas Lady Tigers and San Sebastian Lady Stags. It was like a championship match that many of the volleyball enthusiasts are really waiting for. Gosh, I regret not seeing it live, but who cares? It was still an exciting game even though I watched it in the television.

Michelle Carolino is worthy to be called M9, she was just like a gun that is so precise in all her kills. Take note, all her kills send those who receives them diving to the floor just to save the ball. If she was really an M9, Suzanne, Baulee, Lou Anne and the rest of the Lady Stags would be gone by now, as in dead!

Mary Jean Balse is what we call, "walang kupas" She was just on the roll. Kill after kill. There came a point wherein she would be the one to receive the ball and still have to attack, but she would still earn the point to the delight of the Lady Tigers fans.

But what I really wanted to highlight in this blog is how Rhea Dimaculangan evolved to be a better setter than in the previous leagues where they joined. I didn't see her play like that during the UAAP season. Oh well, I have to give credit to Coach Shack. He well deserved the job as their head coach.

Nothing to be shied about, the Lady Stags did their best and showed their talents to the audience that watched that showdown last sunday. Suzanne Roces carried the team in my opinion. She was the only consistent player that game. Lou Ann has her shining moments as well as Reysabelle Devanadera. But what I noticed is that Jeng Bualee lost her game because she got frustrated by the blockings of Aiza Maizo. I think that's the key to defeat a great team like the Lady Stags.

I hope to see another exciting game like this one in the finals. :D